"We have Cockroaches!"

"We have cockroaches" shouts my tenant on the other end of the line, "what are you going to do about it?". It was the day of my birthday and this was the last present I was expecting. I said, "OK, I'll come and have a look tomorrow". Next day I let myself into the kitchen and there in front of me was a big dirty.........wait for it.....  Lewisham council street bin half filled with rubbish. No wonder why they have cockroaches. Also on the floor around the domestic kitchen bin which I supplied was heeps of pine nuts. I'm surprised it's only cockroaches they have. None of the tenants were around, just aswell as I was fuming. I removed the council bin and cleared up the mess on the floor and sprayed the house with cockroach spray at £20 a can. I left a firm but polite letter to the effect that they are lucky I'm not charging them to feumigate the house as a result of their drunken party games with council bins. I also called the council's environmental health to come and set some bates for the little creatures which they did so at no expense (but now they charge for this service). This eradicated the unwanted house guests and was left with a happy home.